学英语的时候学到这个文章,终于明白了原来男女区别在这里,以后知道怎么跟cj吵架拉.

 

Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus

 

"I can't talk to Paul," says his wife Jill. "Sometimes it feels like he's from another planet." Paul says, "I try to listen to Jill and to help her with her problems. Why does she tell me her problems if she doesn't want my advice?" What's going on? Why do Paul and Jill have such a difficult time communicating with each other? Is it because Paul is a man and Jill is a woman? Are men and women really from different planets?

In his book, Mars and Venus Together Forever, Dr. John Gray explores how men and women communicate and solve problems differently. He explains that when a woman has a problem, it helps for her to talk about it with an understanding listener. She wants to share her feeling with a supportive person. Talking about her problem helps her "feeling side" connect to her "thinking side" and she is then ready to consider solutions. She isn't necessarily looking for advice. Her male partner may not understand this. He may feel that she is asking for help, and that it is his job to solve her problem. He may offer his advice, when she just wants him to listen.

Men commonly handle problem solving differently. If a man has a problem, he will usually want to become active. For example, he might want to play tennis, go for a run, or even just walk back and forth. This activity helps him feel like he is doing something while he figures out a solution to his problem. A man will usually act more quickly than a woman to solve a problem, but he needs to think about his feelings before he can talk about them. He needs time to be by himself. After he analyzes his feelings, and what he can do about his problem, he will often decide to talk about it. But not before.

Dr. Gray explains that men's and women's brains are organized differently. A woman has billions of neuroconnectors that connect her feelings to speech. In Dr. Gray's words, it is as if she has a superhighway connecting her feeling center with her talking center. But when a man tries to put his feelings into words, it is necessary for him to think first about what he wants to say. There are no freeways in his brain connecting his feelings with words. His feelings are more connected to action. He goes from feeling to thinking to talking. A woman is more likely to feel, think, and talk all at the same time. A man wants the problem-solving action to come before the talking. A woman wants to talk first, and then solve the problem. Understanding this basic difference might prevent arguments, hurt feelings, and misunderstandings. It is something to think about the next time you think you are dealing with someone from another planet!